


Lingerie

by GemmaRose



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Lingerie, Shopping, blame autocorrect for this one, just guys being dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 11:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13386855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose
Summary: Ranfan is seeing someone, so Ling does what any best friend would do. He buys her something nice to help her get laid.Written forteekroas part of thefma secret santaon tumblr.





	Lingerie

“You called me out here for this?” Greed’s lips curl in a scowl which Ling pointedly ignores, grabbing his friend by the arm and dragging him towards the storefront.

“You’re the one who keeps bragging about how good he is with the ladies.” he says brightly as they step inside. The climate controlled shop is a blessing, after waiting in the sun on such a humid day for so long.

“That doesn’t make me an expert in gift-giving.” Greed hisses, pulling his arm free.

“Well, no.” Ling’s smile widens, and he knows he’s probably on the edge of manic or threatening but he doesn’t really care. “But I know Ranfan, so between the two of us we should be able to pick something out.”

“And remind me again why we’re looking for a gift for your bodyguard in a _lingerie shop_?” Greed gestured at their surroundings, and Ling forced his smile down to a more reasonable size.

“Because she’s seeing someone.”

“She’s what now?” Greed’s eyebrows shot up.

“Seeing someone.” Ling turned away from the homunculus and started towards the wall, where numerous scanty, sheer underthings were hung on display. “Sexually, if not romantically. She was drinking aurum tea the other day.”

“And this translates to having a boyfriend how?”

“Right, you’re amestrian.” Ling shook his head. “Powdered aurum root is a contraceptive.”

“Oooohhh.” Greed nodded. “Alright, then.” he stepped up next to Ling and looked over the selection available. “You pick out something she’d like, I’ll tell you if it’s worth the price tag.”

“And this is why I love shopping with you.” Ling beamed at his immortal friend, then turned back to considering the lingerie. A good chunk of it was amestrian in style, catered to their strange tastes, and he wandered over towards the more familiar designs. At length, he reached out and pointed at one of the pieces on a simple rotating stand which showed off the backless design. “How about that one?”

Greed tilted his head, then shook it. “Cheap fabric, the shine’s too high. Stitching looks weak too, it’d come apart after the second wash.”

“Damn.” Ling pouted, eyes roving the rest of the designs. Perhaps something less drastic would befit Ranfan more. She was a woman of simple tastes, and he doubted her beau was much different. He considered a set with fluffy little amestrian-style angel wings, but dismissed it after a few seconds. Even on the rare occasion she was off duty, Ranfan preferred darker colours.

“This one’s not half bad.”

Ling turned, and saw Greed holding up a sheer, lacy top on a hanger with matching panties below. “It’s pastel.” he shook his head.

“What, she’s not gonna be showing this off at work.” Greed scoffed.

“The only things in her wardrobe which aren’t black or almost black are her mourning and ceremonial clothes.” he pointed out.

“Huh.” Greed frowned. “Now that you say it, I never have seen her in anything colourful when she’s off duty.”

“What can I say?” Ling shrugged. “She’s got her own style.”

“Well, this one does come in...” Greed trailed off, then growled. “Damn, stupid- who makes a line of lingerie without an option in black?!”

Ling laughed, and grabbed his friend’s arm to drag him along to the next piece he’d set his eyes on. A short, sheer robe made of deep blue fabric with a soft-looking black sash holding it closed around the waist. “What about this one?”

“Bit pricey for the materials, but the construction looks solid.” the homunculus said after a few seconds consideration. “Think it’s her style?”

“Definitely.” Ling nodded, and looked down to where the for-sale articles were folded neatly in dark metal wire bins. It came in a few colours, but the others were far too bright for him to be sure Ranfan would like them. He lifted the stack of folded fabric, and a frown pulled at his mouth as his eyes scanned over the sticker labels. “But not her size.” he muttered.

“Ouch.” Greed winced, catching sight of the tags. “Oh, hey, lady!” he raised an arm to wave, and Ling refrained from forcibly dragging his friend’s arm down. They weren’t in Xing, it was far more acceptable here to call across the whole store for assistance.

“Yes, sirs?” the woman who came up to them was, well, utterly unremarkable. Amestrian features, pale brown hair which fell almost over one of her eyes, a dark blue blouse with the store’s logo printed on the breast pocket.

“Do you have this one in a smaller size?” Greed gestured at the display, then looked at Ling. “Ranfan’s, what, a medium?”

“Yes.” he nodded.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” the woman gave a plastic smile. “Our stock day changed recently, so we won’t have any more of that colour in until later this week. I can show you some similar designs, though, if you’d like? We have a few other robes in stock which I’m sure your girlfriend would look lovely in.”

“Nah, we’re fine.” Ling waved her off. “And, not actually shopping for my girlfriend.” he chuckled.

“Oh?” the woman’s eyebrows raised on her forehead.

“Helping his best friend get laid.” Greed said, and Ling elbowed him in the side. It took effort to keep his face neutral when he slammed his elbow into diamond-hard skin, but the saleswoman laughed demurely and stepped back.

“Well, if you need me for anything else, just give a shout.” she gave a little wave, and walked off to do whatever it was salespeople did when nobody needed their help.

“Please don’t.” Ling groaned as Greed opened his mouth. The homunculus grinned, and slung an arm around his shoulders.

“Spoilsport.”

“We’re here to find something for Ranfan, not to heckle the employees.” Ling elbowed Greed again, this time more gently.

“I can multitask.”

“Please, don’t.” Ling deadpanned. Greed laughed, and pulled him over to a rack of shiny-soft robes which were somehow even shorter than the sheer ones.

“How’s this?” he asked, plucking one on a hanger marked M from the rail. It was black, with red ribbon at the hems and a thicker strip of red fabric as a sash around the waist.

Ling pulled the garment from Greed’s hand and looked it over critically. It certainly wouldn’t look out of place in Ranfan’s wardrobe, that was for sure. Well, save for the length, but it was lingerie. “She’s gonna kill me, but her boyfriend will love it.” Ling nodded.


End file.
